Emotional and Mental ‘Triggers’

Divine Creation

Why do triggers happen?

Triggers from those close to us, and even from work colleagues, play out to teach us what needs addressing within ourselves, and when what someone has said to you triggers something within you this can bring up many feelings from anger, to not feeling appreciated, misunderstood, not loved, the list can be endless, and it all depends in what connotation the words were said to you.

How to understand triggers and learn from them

  • Think back to when this last happened to you, what were you doing or saying to the trigger person, where you talking about something that held a lot of meaning for you, were you looking for praise and acknowledgement, did you want them to understand and appreciate you, were you looking for validation and love, were you asking for support and help with something?
  • Then think about what they said to you and how they said it, did their words have an underlining different tone, did you feel they misunderstood you and were not listening to you properly?
  • Then think about how you felt from what they said, what emotions did it bring up for you?
  • Then think about how you responded, did you become angry and raise your voice back that caused an argument to happen, did you walk off upset?

Looking at it this way will help you to break it down to get to the root of the actual teaching/learning lesson from the trigger. The teaching/lesson could be about self-worth, self-love, self-esteem, inner power, being valued and appreciated, respected, confidence, strength, boundaries etc. Look into how you felt, and what it triggered within you.

Repeating Triggers and how to stop them

The same triggers can play out again and again until you start to acknowledge and can see the lessons being played out, and what they are trying to show you that needs addressing and healing within. It can take time, in some instances even years before you see the underlining reason for the repetitive triggers, which is very apparent in close relationships such as your partner and family.

Triggers can also be played out by both the perpetrator of them, and yourself, as you mirror teaching lessons for healing within each other. This can also be a struggle for power over the other, as you both fight for power over the other and neither side will gain this as you both cause trigger after trigger. The dynamics of this mirror triggering can find resolution and peace when one begins to see the triggers for what they are, and begin to act towards the other person in a different manner, mainly by not reacting to cause further arguments and misunderstandings, and the one causing triggers stops because the healing has happened within the one they are trying to trigger, and the one being triggered stops reacting in the same way.

Why do people constantly try to cause triggers and reactions from others?

Triggers also happen when the person causing this has their own inner issues and things that need to be healed, which is played out through their interactions with others through misunderstanding, judgement, criticising, over opinioniated, manipulation, control, even bullying, and they cause triggers to gain power from those they inflict their trigger on, but again it can still act as a great healing tool for both the person causing the trigger and the person receiving, each mirroring what needs addressing within self.

Closing note

Next time you find yourself being triggered stop, don’t react, acknowledge, see the bigger reasoning/lesson behind it, and then you can see if you are still in need of healing of that lesson or not, be that self-love, inner power, boundaries, self-doubt, insecurities etc.

When triggers don’t affect you like they once did then you know that things have changed and healed within you, and over time you will learn to feel a trigger just before it happens which wont affect and unbalance your energy like it once did, this will make the person causing the triggers to begin to change their behaviour too.

Triggers although uncomfortable can teach you a lot about yourself, others and bring great chances of inner healing and transformation.

Love and Blessings,

Wendy x

If you would like to share your own experiences and how you overcome triggers, or have a question about this article please leave a comment and I will get back to you soon x


4 thoughts on “Emotional and Mental ‘Triggers’”

  1. I find myself triggered by the need to control my husband around the daily/weekly tasks & responsibilities we have to do around the house. I find myself doing most of the chores whether I’m staying at home full time or working part-time. He works full-time and sometimes on his nights off does extra work. He’s the main provider right now and he always throws that at me when I complain. It causes me to call him out as being inadequate partner. I tell him I expect him to take a bit more initiative and work with me on systems around cleaning, caring for our 10month old and general domestic tasks like taking out the rubbish just so things run smoothly on a daily basis. I get so annoyed that he takes little initiative to tidy up, clean up after he uses them, put things away in their place or check on my needs (water, tea, bring my phone to me) when I’m tending / breastfeeding our baby. It causes me to get so infuriated and stressed and then I fire off and do all the tasks instead I’m super fast speed while in angry tirade at him. I’ve tried letting him be and not being on his case but it just builds up to where I lose my temper. I don’t want this to cause us to fight or become distant. I hate that I have these control issues but I also refuse to live like I’m in a college all male dorm.


    1. Hi Jaytee, thank you for sharing your experience, perhaps the control issues are about trying to accept things as they are, and also not to do to much all the time, in this way he may stop taking you for granted and start to step up a bit more. Self worth is perhaps your link to healing this dynamic you are in, blessings x


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